huit.

I was wandering aimlessly through the halls of the House of Blues in Cleveland, taking in all the photographs of musicians past, when I inadvertently came across Kate and Natalie. “Hey!” Kate exclaimed with a smile on her face.  “We’ve been looking for you.  All us girls are going to go out for pedicures—wanna come?”

Being the opportunist I was, it occurred to me that I could turn her down, get some time in alone with Zac while they were gone.  In the back of my mind, it seemed like a fabulous idea.  I knew better.  “Um, yeah,” I forced a smile and nodded toward the green room.  “Let me just go grab my bag.  Meet you at the van in five?”

Twenty minutes later, Kate, Nikki, Natalie, Jess, and I were seated next to each other in a row of pedicure chairs at a salon not too far from the venue.  Kate was animatedly talking about plans for Shepherd’s fifth birthday party, which was coming up in a week.  She was planning a pirate party, complete with a gigantic inflated pirate ship jump castle.  I tried to remain engaged as the girls all discussed the finer points of ice cream versus cookie cake, and buttercream versus whipped topping for cake at a child’s birthday, but it was tedious.  Aside from the fact that every mention of Zac made my stomach turn, I had no children of my own, no nieces or nephews, and no friends with children to be able to relate.

Of course, I told myself, that wasn’t entirely true.  In some sick and twisted way, Kate was my friend, as were Nikki and Natalie.

I cared for their kids as if they were my own nieces and nephews.  I had grown to absolutely adore all nine of them, even if I felt a pang of jealousy whenever I held Junia or talked to Shepherd.

“You’re coming, right?”

I looked up from my toes and saw Kate leaning over, a questioning look on her face.  “I know it’s kind of short notice, but Shepherd would just love for his Aunt Ryland to be at his party.”  She had this huge smile on her face, blissfully ignorant of the fact that two nights ago, I had my hand on her husband’s genitalia.

“I’ll see what I can do,” I offered.  I had become an expert on political answers lately; never explicitly saying yes or no, never agreeing or disagreeing.  Always keeping peace, always standing neutral in the social expectancy of a Hanson friend or family member.

“We can buy your plane ticket, if that’s an issue,” Kate offered.

“Oh, no…I couldn’t ask you guys to do that.  Maybe I’ll just hitch a ride in the cargo hold of the bus,” I joked.

Kate laughed.  “Don’t be silly!  It’s not that expensive this time of year, and it’s the least we can do for someone who’s become such a good friend to us all.  Consider it an early birthday present.”

“I’ll check my schedule and see if I can clear the weekend.”

“Fabulous!  Oh, and just let us know if there’s anyone you’d like to bring.  Is there anyone you’d like to bring?” her last question was playful—the kind of question girlfriends ask each other when they’re trying to get juicy details.  “You know, ‘cause Will’s gonna be there, and I happen to know for a fact that he’s kind of sweet on you.”

I swallowed hard, and then shrugged.  “I’m…not really seeing anyone right now.  At least, not anyone worth bringing to a five year old’s birthday party.”  I added the last part to save myself from being thrust on Will.  He was a great guy and a good friend, but I just didn’t see him that way.  I really didn’t see anyone that way.  Well, anyone other than Zac.

“But there is someone, isn’t there?” Nikki popped in.  “I can tell.  You have the look in your eye.  How long have you been seeing him?  What’s his name?  Where do you know him from?”

“Uh…” I was a deer in the headlights.  I couldn’t very well tell the truth.  “Well…there’s this guy from school.  His name is Randy,”

I felt eyes boring in to the back of my head and turned to see Jess was staring at me, a look of shock etched across her face.  “Really?” she asked in disbelief.

“Well…yeah?”

Jessica’s sisters-in-law didn’t seem to notice the uncertainty to my voice.  They just began bombarding me with more questions:  Where was he from?  How long have I known him?  What is his major?  What does he do in his spare time?  I couldn’t keep up with all the questions, and I certainly did not like the attention I was receiving regarding the situation.  I was afraid I was going to slip up somewhere.

“How has he been taking you being away so much this semester?” Natalie inquired.  “You and Jess have been on the road for practically every spare moment!”

“He’s really understanding,” I shrugged.  “I mean, we haven’t really been serious, so it isn’t like I have to answer to him or anything…and, you know, we talk on the phone a lot.”

“Really?  I rarely see you on the phone with anyone,” Kate commented.

“Well, it’s usually late at night.  He works second shift, so sometimes I don’t talk to him until like, 2 AM.  Everyone else is usually asleep.”

“Plus, he’s really busy himself…he’s taking a full summer session right now, plus working full time, plus he has this softball league he plays for on the weekends.”  Jess offered in my support.  All of her information was accurate, so it wasn’t as if she were lying.  And I did talk to Randy occasionally…before he asked me out on that date, anyway.

I was starting to wish I had taken him up on it; starting to regret pushing him aside for a married man.  I knew better than to do what I was doing, especially when it was happening so close to Kate.  Most men, they have affairs at hotels.  They take their mistress out of town, tell their wife they’re on business, and keep their girlfriend separate from their wife.  Zac actually did go out of town on business—a lot—but Kate also came out of town with him—a lot.  At least with Randy, I wouldn’t have this ever-present fear that I’d be found out and tarred and feathered.

“You should ask him to come to the party if he can get the time off.  Or at least bring him to a show so we can all meet this guy!”  Kate urged.

God, she was being such a good friend.  It was killing me.

“I’ll see what I can do,” I promised.

**

I rolled over in the bed, yawning and stretching.  My arm brushed against someone else and my heart began to beat faster, confusion and fear setting in.  I opened my eyes to see a mess of dark brown hair and a thin arm splayed out on the pillow.  I shook my head, wondering when and how Kate wound up in bed with me.

It was then that I realized my head was pounding, and images from the night came flooding back to me.  After our pedicures, we went out to get dinner, then hit happy hour before the show.  At the show, we took shots and danced.  After the show, we went back to the hotel room Jess and I shared and had a few more drinks, sans guys.   I looked over at Jess’s bed to see Natalie and Nikki fast asleep.  Jess was on the couch, out cold.

I rolled over on to my other side and rubbed my eyes, trying to clear the sleep and fuzziness.  Considering Kate was asleep beside me, I had guess I hadn’t said anything incriminating.  Sighing in relief and pulled the covers up to my chin and tried to fall back asleep, but there was a knock on the door.  “Go away!” I called, raising the comforter even higher above my head.

“Can I come in?” I heard Zac call from the other side of the door.

“I guess,” I got up and let him in, then immediately went back to the bed.  “Looking for your wife?” I bit.

“Well, yes…didn’t think I’d find her in there though,” Zac tilted his head, looking at Kate splayed across the other side of my bed, then examining me.  “I like it, though.”  I narrowed my eyes at him, fighting the urge to smack the dirty smirk off his face.

“In your dreams.”

“What did you guys do last night?” I could tell his imagination was still running away with him.

“Drank.  Drank…drank.  There may have been a pillow fight in there somewhere,” I added.

“Any pictures?”  I threw my pillow at him.

“Was there something I could help you with other than providing fodder for your spank bank?”

“We wanted breakfast before we hit the road.  And since there’s about five hundred of you women we wanted to get an early start with the showers…but after this, I think I should go first…you know—cool off.”

“You’re disgusting.”

“We could both probably be out before anyone else woke up, if you wanted to join me,” he whispered.

“Seriously?!”  I threw another pillow at him.  “Get out, dude.  I’ll wake everyone up.”

Zac winked, blew me a kiss, then walked out of the room.  A short time later, I heard water running from our shared bathroom.

 

 

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