prologue

“I wouldn’t do that if I were you.”

The sound of his voice startled me, causing my eyes to fly open, my body to turn away from the mirror and face the doorway of the bathroom. He had his hands in his pockets as he leaned against the door frame, an eyebrow raised as he watched me. I could feel the confused expression on my face slowly turn to embarrassment as his eyes traveled to my closed fist and his eyebrows to raise. “It’s a good thing you’re not me.” The retort didn’t sound nearly as cynical as I had hoped.

“You’re right, I’m not you. I’m just saying that if I were you, I wouldn’t do what you’re thinking of doing.”

“You don’t know what I’m thinking of doing.”

A sad smile pulled at the corners of his mouth, and I noticed for the first time his lips matched the defeated gaze in his eyes. “I know you’re thinking you have no other choice. I know you’ve thought about this for awhile and it isn’t a spur of the moment decision. I know you think this is the right time to do it. Trust me—I know.”

I swallowed, shifting the weight from foot to foot. The knots in my stomach intensified, though they were now less knots of terror and more knots of shame. The pills in my hand were getting sticky from the layer of sweat coating my palm. “I don’t know what else to do.”

He was moving toward me now, and I could see the smile spreading as he reached his hands out and placed them on my shoulders. “You could talk to me.”

I snorted. “I barely even know you.”

“Sounds like I’m the perfect person to unload on, then.”

“You wouldn’t understand.” I didn’t realize I had been crying until he wiped a tear away with his thumb. “You couldn’t understand.”

“Try me.”

 

 

 

 

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